From disappointment to hope: changing direction when things don’t feel right.

September is often experienced as the time of year for fresh starts.  It means it’s also the time of year when some people realise they have started something that doesn’t work for them.

This realisation, that perhaps you have started a job or a course that is making you feel unhappy, can be accompanied by feelings of shame, guilt or failure. Perhaps it’s one in a series of false starts or you might be someone for whom up until this point things have gone pretty smoothly.

Whatever your experience in arriving at this point you’re likely to be feeling some complicated emotions. Perhaps you’re feeling guilty about letting down people who have encouraged you to this point. Or perhaps you are overwhelmed by the logistics of how to extricate yourself (from student loans, housing commitments or job contracts). Or you might feel at fault for feeling you didn’t research thoroughly.

Whilst everyone’s experience is unique, if this situation describes where you are at the moment you are far from being in a unique position.

For example according to HESA’s latest available data there were roughly 17, 000 people who didn’t continue beyond their first year of university. A similar figure of 5% is sometimes used to refer to Further Education too.

That this is a common scenario should offer comfort, because it means there are anecdotes of people surviving. You can use these anecdotes as anchors for your optimism whilst you navigate your way back to a good place. For example you could check out the Not Going to Uni podcast.

My first piece of advice is to stay put (if this is at all possible) to give yourself time to consider alternatives.

Then I suggest a 6-point plan for picking yourself up and moving forward with confidence:

1. Start by recording your strengths as you see them. If you find this hard to do check in with trusted friends or family members. Remind yourself who you are, and what’s brilliant about you.
2. Remind yourself why you started on this particular course, or in this particular job. What was your motivation? What were your needs and wants? Have these changed or do they remain the same? Record these too. These are sometimes referred to as your career anchors.
3. Having done steps 1 and 2 you may conclude that your current position, whilst not perfect, is still a good route to getting where you want to be and that it’s worth sticking out. It’s worth also thinking about whether you need some adjustments to the course or workplace to help you be successful. In colleges and universities there are staff available to discuss this with you and in the workplace your first port of call will be your line manager or HR department to find out what might be possible.
4. If you have not found any match between your strengths, your motivation, your needs and wants and your current situation it might be time to figure out a totally different path. Reviewing your CV could be really valuable at this point (remember those strengths you revisited in Step 1? Do they feature on your CV?). It’s not just helpful for job applications. It can form the basis of your argument for changing course for example. As we have seen it’s relatively common for students to have doubts about their course, so there’s sometimes an element of flexibility at the early stage of a course (think within the first 6 weeks) for people to swap (space permitting).
5. If at this stage you’re utterly stuck on what to do next seek guidance. In state schools and FE colleges a set of careers standards (known as the Gatsby benchmarks) means that most have access to a qualified careers adviser, and may be able to signpost you to free support. The National Careers Service offers free online and telephone advice. There are people like myself in the private sector. Look for the CDI Registered Career Development Practitioner logo on websites and email signatures. A careers consultant or adviser will usually offer a free discovery chat to explain their service and check your needs before you commit to a meeting.  
6. Making a change to your plans means you need to change the narrative – so my last point is about how you are now describing yourself. I wrote a blog recently on the art of unfinishing, focusing on how testing out ideas, which you don’t necessarily complete, often informs the myriad pathways you do follow and see through to the end. So work on your messaging so you can explain with confidence and pride what you have learnt about yourself and the world during this time.